You might be a parent if . . .

(For our household, that’s actually 7 AM. Our youngest has an internal alarm clock. 6:09 AM. Every. Single Day.)

2. You pick up your house at least five times a day and it still looks like a disaster zone.

3. You eat macaroni and cheese at least once a week.

(Or grilled cheese, or PB&J…whatever your child constantly asks for.)

4. You know all of the characters on Super Why, Wild Kratts, Frozen, Planes, How to Train Your Dragon, and various other kid shows.

5. Dirty diapers, boogers, and maybe even vomit don’t gross you out like they used to.

6. You catch yourself saying things like this: “No, Son, you can’t ride your scooter off of your bed.” Or, “Son, keep Lightning McQueen out of your spaghetti.”

Or, as I heard myself say the other day, “Son, it’s not nice to pee on someone else.”

7. Your car (or minivan, if you’ve given in to that convenience) is loaded down with a stroller, extra clothes, diapers, blankets, cheerios from two weeks ago, and happy meal toys.

8. You don’t mind cleaning out your child’s ear or nose with your bare hand. (It’s so much quicker than getting a tissue!)

9. You can relate to that scene in Date Night where Tina Fey talks about how much she’d love to have a night in a hotel completely by herself.

Because really, is it too much to ask to go the bathroom without someone banging on the door!?

10. No matter how awful your day is, you wouldn’t trade your job for anything else.

Any others? I’d love to hear them. Leave a comment on this post with yours! 

*This post was originally published in 2012, and has been updated.